not to be Debby Downer but...

I could use some prayers today. Some really great prayers would be wonderful actually. I didn't share this with many before yesterday but on Tuesday I had my normal girl appointment (oh don't we all love those) and my doctor found something during my breast exam and had me feel it too. Here's where I am going to remind all of you ladies that your self exam is supposed to be done standing up AND laying down, you find different things when you're laying down! Anyway, she sent me off to the Providence Breast Center (which is a lovely place that I really wish I had never had to visit) yesterday for a mammogram (my first) and an ultrasound but reassured me that very likely it was just a cyst or something but we should get it checked out.

Fast forward to yesterday... Keith, being the ever loving fiancee that he is, came with me to my 2:30 appointment, got me checked in and sat and waited in the waiting room with his Zune and his PSP (that boy has definetely got some serious toys) while I went through the door to my appointment.

A nice lady ushered me into a "locker room" which looked like a super glamorous changing room in a high end retail establishment and had me change, take off my deoderant, all the fun stuff, and put my belongings in the locker and then sit with a few other gown clad women while we waited for my mammogram. The mammogram was pretty easy, not fun but not at all what I expected. I mean it doesn't feel good but it isn't excruciating either. The operator took a ton of pictures and ushered me into another waiting room and told me she may be back to get me for some more pictures and in fact after about 5 minutes she came back, took a few more pictures and then took me back to the waiting room again. I think it was she who thought there was something else there or else the dr. told her that after looking at the film, I'm not sure. anyway... after a little wait I was taken in to have an ultrasound on both of the girls, not uncomfortable at all but by this point I was getting a little shook up.

The ultrasound tech was wonderful, calmed me down, showed me what they were looking at, that there were actually 3 spots of note, 2 on the left and 1 on the right. She took a ton of photos and told me that she'd be going out to consult with the radiologist and he would be back in (with her) to talk to me in a few moments. By this time actual DREAD was taking over. Fear, dread, anxiety. not fun. The radiologist came in with a fairly somber look (no jokes? what kind of bedside manner is that, well I guess it was serious so no jokes allowed) and told me that they were concerned with what they are seeing, they are not simple cysts and he told me that the next step would be to get me in for a biopsy. A dual biopsy.

I then was sent in to change and clean up and given some time to collect myself, it's on the embarassing side when you're crying and women are in waiting for their mammograms. I probably freaked them all out.

The next step was collecting Keith (after his 2 and half hour wait in the lobby!) and going in to meet with the nurse practitioner to talk about what the biopsy would be like, schedule it, get all the fun paperwork and reading materials and "calm down" again. She explained in great detail what prep I need to do, what I need to have at home for the post biopsy fun and answered the few questions Keith and I both had.

We left to then head up to Mikayla's open house in Sedrow Wooley so we had about an hour car ride to call my mom, sister and a couple friends, he called Shawn (his cousin) and I got calmed down enough to have an pretty good time last night. I'll post some photos of all of that later.

So, my biopsy is scheduled for October 1st at 7:45am. Please be praying for me and also for the docs. I'm bummed that I have to wait two weeks but since its a dual it takes more time and that's the first time in the schedule so that's what we do. I get results at 2:00 on Wednesday the 3rd and I'll let you all know where we go from there.

There is a very good chance that this is going to be fine, I praying that that is the case. It's definitely been a wake up call to me. and not a fun one. You can't help but being scared and nervous but with everything that I've been through, God has ALWAYS been faithful to me. Even the darkest day had some glimmer that my God was with me.

So here's what I ask.

1. do your self exam (if you don't know what you're doing, ASK!)
2. add me to your prayer list pretty please!
3. or like Keith, buy me ice cream at 10 at night when I won't stop blubbering. well done hon.